I’ve been learning and growing at a diligent pace for a few years. This week I came into the realization, because I’m usually the last to know, that I’ve found a comfortable stride. The stride I strut, today, is helping me conquer the heartbreak hills and the short distance irks.
I have not accomplished anything alone. My close friends know that I have a team: one accountability manager, 4 accountability partners, two licensed therapists and a tribe of other learners who identify with my struggles and ask me questions that change me for the better. Two of this tribe are Marc and Angel Chernoff. This is an email they sent me, today.
This email reassured some #quitdat’s that I have accomplished over the last few years. These are the questions that I was asked by my accountability partners, leading to monumentally wonderful new life experience:
- My friend Jess asked me, “Why do people pretend?” Her spirit sister, asked her this question.
- I learned that Pain is inevitable; Suffering is optional.
- Resistance is futile. Life operates on a flow concept. I have better experience belly-ing up and doing the back-stroke.
- Worrying is planning for the thing worried about. Action-less living is suicide.
Reassuring, first, and encouraging start to a glorious day. Read more details below.
Take good care.
Sent: Friday, August 28, 2015 6:35 AM
To: AJ Leto
Subject: 4 Toxic Habits that Suck Your Energy
Bear with me for a moment. You know when you’re driving to an unfamiliar place, blasting the radio while simultaneously watching your GPS spit out directions? Then you suddenly get to that one part of the route that’s ridiculously confusing, so you lower the volume even though it really has no direct impact on the way you read the directions?
That is your life. That radio noise you need to cut out to concentrate? That’s the needless, energy-sucking noise in your head.
Turning down the radio in the car re-energizes your mind and offers you clarity when you need it most. You don’t really think about how or why this makes such a huge difference, you just know that it does.
Now it’s time to apply this same principle to all that other noise in your life, starting with the noise in your head.
The first step is to eliminate toxic, energy-sucking habits that support this noise. Here are four such habits to eliminate:
- Pretending like everything is OK when it isn’t.
Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you feel like giving up? There’s honestly no shame in it. You are not a robot; and even if you were, you’d still need to stop for maintenance sometimes. There’s no shame in admitting to yourself that you feel exhausted, doubtful, and low. This is a natural part of being human. The simple fact that you are aware of this means you are able to turn things around. It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there’s no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again. (from the “Adversity” chapter of our book)
- Letting pain from the past devastate the present.
I am stronger because of the hard times, wiser because of my mistakes, and happier because I have known sadness. The same is true for you. Every difficult conversation you have includes someone who is teaching you something about yourself. Every trying situation contains an opportunity for deeper self-reflection and learning. Every irritant, heartbreak, frustration, disappointment, fearful moment and sadness is a teacher. Remember, nothing is as bad as it seems. Nothing. There’s a benefit and a blessing hidden in the folds of every experience and every outcome. So don’t you dare give up on today because of the way things looked yesterday. Don’t even think about it. Every day is a new day to try again.
- Resisting change and growth.
You must consistently check with yourself and ask: “Am I committed to feeling good, or am I committed to growing?” Because growth does not always feel good, and feeling good does not always provide growth. Neither is wrong, as long as there is balance. The important thing is to remember that being uncomfortable is important too, and this discomfort often arrives right on time. Don’t avoid it – embrace it. Channel your energy into progress. All growth begins at the end of your comfort zone. When you’re feeling uncomfortable, know that the change taking place in your life is a beginning, not an ending. (from the “Goals and Success” chapter of our book)
- Worrying and worrying and worrying and never taking action.
Worry is the biggest enemy of the present moment. It does nothing but steal your joy and keep you very busy doing absolutely nothing at all. It’s like using your imagination to create things you don’t want. Break this negative habit! It is far better to be exhausted from effort than to be tired of doing nothing but worrying. Don’t waste your effort avoiding effort. Go ahead and get it done. Today, ask yourself what is really important and then have the courage to build your day around your answer.
And of course, if you’re struggling with any of these points, know that you are not alone. Many of us are right there with you, working hard to let go of toxic habits, and keep our lives on track by freeing ourselves from unnecessary headaches and heartache. This is precisely why Marc and I wrote our book, “1,000 Little Things Happy Successful People Do Differently.” The book is filled with short, concise tips on how to do just that. And believe it or not, I’m currently in the process of re-visiting and re-reading some of our own material this month, just to center my mind on these positive principles.
/end of email from Marc and Angel Hack Life <firstname.lastname@example.org>